Mindfulness does not fix difficulties but it sure can help.
The difficulties we are facing are real and frightening, with global consequences in the present and for the future. Mindfulness certainly cannot fix the difficulties we are facing but having mindfulness practice does offer a way to approach these stressors that we are facing and to be less knocked around by distress.

So what is mindfulness ?
Jon Kabbat-Zinn, the founder of Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction speaks about mindfulness as being, “an awareness that emerges through paying attention, on purpose in the present moment, nonjudgmentally to the unfolding of experience”. So to be mindful you need to pay attention to the present moment in a particular, accepting (non-judging) way.

When you are mindful you can have a mindful moment (state), be habitually mindful (trait), do activities mindfully (informal mindfulness),or engage in mindfulness practices like meditation (formal mindfulness). 

Formal meditation is a bit like weightlifting. It  trains our figurative attention muscle. When yo begin to learn meditation, it is difficult to sustain attention but this capacity grows with practice and will lay a good foundation for being more mindful.

What does paying attention mean?
Let's take one example. 2020 has been the year of paying attention to the news. Have you noticed a tendency to do this more than once a day?  Has this been helpful? I usually find that too much news, particularly when it is repetitive  can be addictive but not helpful.

A daily mindfulness  practice means  that you are more likely to become  aware of what is affecting you in your life and how you are reacting to it.

In my daily meditation practice, I noticed the growing tension in my body and the news related thoughts whirring through my head.  When I notice this I can both begin to relate to my thoughts differently and take practical action, adjusting my life so that I could stay informed of the news with reduced impact.

What if  I don’t like what I experience when I practice mindfulness?
I’d be rich if I got a dollar for every time someone said to me, “I can’t do mindfulness or I just don’t like it”.

You might be doing a mindfulness practice and noticing joy, fear, agitation or boredom.  Not only does this feels uncomfortable  but the you are asked to get to know the felt sense of these unpleasant experiences with acceptance. ​It does sound increasing well being. 
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So why would you want to accept what's feels bad?
During COVID we have seen all sorts of ways of coping.   Drinking too much, binging on Netflix or news, and eating of course…who has those COVID kilos? When stressful events take place, we often try to avoid our experience of the stress, or alternatively get completely caught up in it and are unable to see past it.

Training in mindfulness tends to reduce our tendency to avoid and distract. This is better for our wellbeing - more adaptive most of the time. This training in non-avoidance is instrumental in Increasing well being.  It helps when dealing with difficult experiences of depression and anxiety.

And more good news.
Mindfully paying attention will also let us notice subtle, good things in our lives that could otherwise go under the radar.  During this COVID time, I’ve noticed the joy I get from peoples’ gardens as I walk the dog. I have walked past these gardens for years but never appreciated them so much.  

Many of the positive things that happen in life are just a little bit nice, not amazing. If you are not actively noticing these moments, you can miss them and life is made up of many such moments.


Mindfulness is something that cannot be learned through words alone, it must be experienced.
Experience is often richer than words. You can't compare the taste of really good gelato with a description or picture of gelato. Mindfulness is no different. I can tell you about the benefits of learning to be more mindful – how it can help with stress, depression, feelings of anxiety, attentional difficulties or managing pain -but that's not the same as having the experience.

Learning mindfulness to reduce stress.
There are many ways to explore mindfulness. There are courses such as the 8-week Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction, retreats and apps. 

Most face-2-face retreats are not running at present due to COVID and online retreats are demanding for beginners.   Apps can be helpful, particularly helpful for maintaining an established practice. If you are wanting more support than an app, MBSR is the gold-standard mindfulness course, that has been heavily researched. It provides structure and support. 
 
What happens in an MBSR course?
In MBSR we do plenty of practice, participate in exercises, have rich discussions, and look at bringing mindfulness into daily life in a very practical way. The classes are supportive, informative, stimulating and enjoyable. The course is well researched, evidenced based and your teacher should be accredited and experienced- make sure you check! An 8- week course is harder than a short course and asks more of you, but offers a different experience from something smaller.

Headrest MBSR in Marrickville.
Our next  8-weekcourse begins Tuesday, Feb 16, 2021, 6:30-9:00 PM. We have now moved back to ZOOM to ensure safety and maximum course continuity for participants Go to www.headrest.com.au for more information.

If you are interested please book  least a couple of weeks before the course begins to ensure that it will go ahead  or earlier to ensure that you do not miss out. Our early bird discount ends Jan19.

 
2020 has been a stressful year. First we had the bushfires and then COVID-19, and we haven't settled yet.  In some ways our sense of knowing how life works, what we can expect on a day to day basis, has changed. Things feel more uncertain and uncertainty is implicitly stressful.

Although many people lost work in 2020, counsellors (such as myself) received an increase in referrals and often had to turn people away. I was relieved to be able to continue to offer Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction courses, albeit online. 

What is MBSR?
MBSR is an 8-week course that integrates the teaching of contemplative practices such as meditation with western psychology, with a view to building skills to reduce stress. It is an evidenced-based program that can be helpful with stress, depression, anxiety, stress related health problems and managing pain. You can click on the links below to    

read some of the research or simply google MBSR and your area of interest to find relevant articles.

How does MBSR compare to Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (Counselling)?
The first randomised study to compare the options of individual cognitive behavioural therapy or an eight-week mindfulness group for people with moderate symptoms of depression and anxiety found that there were no statistical differences between the two treatments. 

Although I work primarily as a counsellor, it was results like this that led me to train as a Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction teacher. I have now taught the course for 7 years and am convinced that it is a good option for many.

MBSR is not a substitute for counselling but it sometimes it may be all that is required. The course may also complement counselling.  I speak with everyone who books a course, in a pre-course interview to ensure that it is a suitable choice.

Doing the course with the support of a group has significant benefits. It will help motivate you to practice what you learn. The group can be thoroughly enjoyable and provide good connection through this time of greater social isolation.  

Do you find it hard to maintain your meditation practice even though you know it is good for you? Many MBSR grads tell me that they have this experience with a meditation. They say, "I loved MBSR, I kept going for a while and then my practice dropped off'.  I'd say that this response is almost a norm and it is not surprising. A course offers great support but once it is over, sitting on a regular basis without a community or input can be hard to maintain.  Some things can help.

Last September I wrote about some of the podcasts that I use to evoke the sense of support I get in a class. These podcasts can provide inspiration and focus. They included Tara Brach, Buddhist Geeks, and Dharma Punx.  Today, I update this list. ​

Lindy has been working in her bedroom since COVID began. She lives in a share house, and her bedroom is the one private place that she can review her case files. It is difficult to separate work from home, and there are no colleagues to have an easy laugh with, to bounce ideas around with, or to consult with-just on the spur of the moment. She was finding it hard to  transition from a work headspace to a home headspace at the end of the day.

Lindy now takes a 10-minute mindful walk at the end of  each work-day. She pays close attention as the light changes, inhales the fresh air, feels the temperature of the air on her skin, and notices each time her feet hit the pavement

When she returns home, she spends a bit more time doing a guided meditation practice. She does not push thoughts of work away but practices mindfully shifting her attention, leaving the thoughts in the background. This mindful ending to her workday eases the transition to being back at home.  Lindy had been attending a Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction course.

What is Mindfulness?

The essence of mindfulness is our unique capacity to be aware of our experience as it is happening. Our perception of our world is shaped by where we rest our attention.  What we attend to, is processed by our minds to create reality. When we are mindful, we  choose to rest our attention in the present moment. This is the ‘what’ of mindfulness.

Mindfulness also has a ‘how’. We rest our attention in the present moment with an attitude attitude of kindness, warmth and curiosity. We do this to get a better understanding of our experience as it is, rather than interpreting how we think  or would prefer it to be. We simply pay attention to how it is.

Why mindfulness?

People come to a Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction course for all sorts of reasons. To manage anxiety, pain, depressed mood or stress, or to move towards improved well-being and flourishing. Some hear about mindfulness through therapists, have had past experiences they want to reignite or have been convinced by friends.

Many people have profound experiences in mindfulness courses, which bring about significant change. The research supports that mindfulness may reduce the distress caused by, for example, pain, illness, stress and depression. Being more mindfulness can leave  us out of our ‘doing or driven mind’ which reacts in automatic ways and open up some space for us to respond rather than react.

Mindfulness is both good for loosening the automaticity of negative emotions and for finding ways to grow moments of happiness or joy. Difficult  emotions can be obvious in periods of uncertainty like these COVID times, but mindfulness can help us also to notice and savour what is good. This doesn’t involve a whole lot of work but is more about noticing and enjoying the moments that may otherwise be invisible as it happens.

Here are some tips

Start the day mindfully
Make the first moment a mindful moment. Before you fall asleep, set the intention to wake up to your experience as soon as you open your eyes. Become aware of your senses as you wake up and notice the morning birdsong, the garbage trucks, and the touch of the blanket on your skin. Pause a moment, and be aware of the breath, the body, and what is going on in the mind. See what you can discover.

Pay attention to what you’re doing
Savour the things you enjoy. Notice the warmth of the coffee/teacup on your skin and inhale the smell. Pay attention to the mundane stuff too; washing the dishes, loading the dishwasher, or folding the washing.  Show up and be there.

Pair mindfulness with other activities
It can be hard to remember to be mindful, to pay attention in a way that is curious and interested. See if you can link your intention to be mindful to something that happens frequently, getting a notification on your phone, putting hand sanitiser on your hands, stopping at the traffic lights. When you do these things STOP and tune in not. Stop, Turn in, Observe and then Proceed. You may or may not like what you see, but that is not important, what is important is being with what is there, and then having the choice about responding rather than reacting.

Managing the multiple demands of so much change, uncertainty and social isolation is a difficult combination. We can have various conflicting reactions. As time passes, it can be easy to go down the rabbit hole of dis/stress, characterised by the repetitive thoughts often associated with anxiety and depression.  These mood states can be hard to shift and will impact on others. So what is a helpful way to manage this? 

These new and challenging experiences are providing an unusual opportunity to notice our reactions to what life is throwing at us. When we can pay attention to our inner experiences such as thoughts, feelings and sensations,  or our tendency to distract or avoid in an accepting way, we have a chance to respond rather than react. If we respond mindfully, we are more likely to be able to navigate the difficulties wisely and to care better for ourselves and others.

Research supports the benefits of formal mindfulness training (meditation) in increasing emotional responsiveness rather than reactivity. There are a plethora of mindfulness offerings online to help you in this, including podcasts and guided meditation practices. I have discussed many of these benefits and resources in prior blog posts.

Perhaps what I can add here are some of the reflections from students in my last MBSR course. I moved the 8-week HeadRest MBSR course to Zoom in Week 5.
Many said:

• This is the ideal course to be doing at this time
• I would not have managed as well without my developing mindfulness practice.
• Talking about the impact of these changes on our lives and how to respond mindfully, rather than focusing on the virus, is invaluable.
• The support of the group and the shared experience is helpful.
• They were sad to end the course and would return, along with past course graduates, to connect online on Tuesday evenings to meditate and reflect together in the MBSR way.
  
  

Many things can help in negotiating the increased stress brought about by COVID19. Good government health and social policy and action top the list.  After this, we can turn to how we are managing our internal experience, and it is here that mindfulness can be beneficial.

Mindfulness training is not a fix-all and will not change reality. It is training that takes time and practice, and COVID19 is offering more time to some. Mindfulness training is training for being in the present, dealing with what is difficult and enriching well being. It is training for living a life that will bring its fair share of joy and distress, the bearable and the unbearable, whether this is COVID19 or something else. It may be something you would like to explore.

HeadRest has a day and evening course beginning online in May. The next day course begins Monday, May 4, 12.00-2.30 and the evening course begins Tuesday, May 12, 6:30-9:00. The course price is $475.00, and prices can be flexible to meet your current economic circumstances. Please pay the full fee if possible, to help subsidise those who cannot afford to pay and to keep my business afloat.  Booking details are on the website or call me on 0431842950 or email headrestgroups@optusnet.com.au   
 
I am Tienne Simons and teach the HeadRest MBSR courses. I am an experienced teacher and also work as a therapist in private practice in Marrickville, Sydney.

There is a tremendous amount of distress and grief in life.  We have watched our forests burn and people and animals suffer. There have been many other climate catastrophes around the world. We have watched the rise of populist governments - reflecting increasing societal feelings of insecurity.

So much is uncertain, and we may have little personal capacity to affect the changes needed by ourselves. Much that happens in our life is out of our individual control and this includes aging, losing loved ones and health problems, 
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What we learn in a Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction Course is good material for being with these difficult but unavoidable life experiences. Mindfulness will not fix the problems but it does allow a way to be with what is difficult and then to choose how we respond. 

      Between the stimulus and the response is a space and in that space lies our freedom, our freedom to choose.

Mindfulness practice helps us settle and be grounded. When grounded, we can see things more clearly and be less reactive. It can help us take things less personally and recognise our interconnectedness rather than our separation. This feels good, and is also what is needed by society as a whole.

I'd love to see you in an MBSR course. 

The next course begins in Marrickville on Oct 27, 2020. Book now and don't miss out.

 What Mindfulness Isn't

These are some of the misconceptions that lead to confusion when you start a mindfulness practice. Mindfulness is not clearing your mind of all thoughts and feelings. You cannot control your automatic thoughts and feelings, and it is not worth trying to. Mindfulness may lead to a quietening of your thoughts, but you can't force that to happen. You simply have to allow it to happen.

• Mindfulness is not relaxation. It is often relaxing, but that's not the goal. Relaxation is also helpful, but it benefits you in a different way from mindfulness.  
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• Mindfulness is not about suppressing your feelings. It's about becoming aware of the things you're feeling instead of trying to change or ignore them. This can be uncomfortable at time.

 

• Mindfulness is not positive thinking. Focusing on the positive aspects of reality has many benefits for mood and stress, but those are distinct from mindfulness. Mindfulness helps to create a  space to help replace bad habits with more intentional actions.

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• Mindfulness is not wallowing or ruminating. Mindfulness is about immersing yourself in the present moment while wallowing and ruminating focus on past mistakes and how they'll continue to haunt you into the future. Mindfulness includes noticing the brain's judgmental thoughts but without getting carried away by them.

If  you'd like to know understand more about the research behind the claims,  I recommend my book of the week, 'The Upward Spiral: Using Neuroscience to reverse the Course of Depression, One Small Change at a Time', by Alex Korb.  It's practical and  interprets a complex subject in a simple way. Or you could come to an 8- week MBSR course.

MBSR is a mindfulness course that has been heavily researched and has a strong evidence  My next course begins on Tuesday Feb 16 on Zoom. Book through www,headrest.com.au or call me for more info, Tienne 0431842950. I'm an accredited and experienced teacher and mental health professional. 

What an MBSR course will teach you.
MBSR courses teach formal and informal meditation practices and integrate these practices with ideas from western psychology. MBSR courses began teaching meditation as a tool stress reduction in 1979 and have a solid research base. 

MBSR is a psycho-educational group, not therapy. MBSR courses don't focus on trekking and climate change, but you will find that the course will shed light on areas of challenge for you. If you would like to know more about MBSR check out the website or some of my other blog posts https://www.headrest.com.au/blog

The next 8-week HeadRest Mindfulness Based Stress reduction course begins on Zoom on Tuesday, Oct 27, 2020, 6.30-9.00pm. This extra-ordinary year has taken us away from face to face and on to Zoom- but it still works well. If you are interested, help ensure we have the numbers to get the course up and running and book soon.

Book through www.headrest.com.au or ​https://www.trybooking.com/BKURB If you'd like to have a chat, find out about the course and decide whether it is for you please give me a call 0431842950.

If you’d like to dip your toes into exploring some of these questions you might try out the listening practice from the book, Heal Thy Self, Lessons on Mindfulness in Medicine by Saki Santorelli. Saki is a director from the Centre for Mindfulness at the University of Massachusetts.

A short listening practice for daily life.

• For the rest of today try paying close attention to the beginning of your conversations with people.
• Noticing the intention, the first impulse to speak, attempting, when that impulse arises, to consciously stop and take one breath. Maybe two.
• Checking, without the need for self-criticism, the first impulse to express or make your point
• Notice what happens in the mind, the sensations in the body, allowing yourself the room, the openness, to receive these internally arising messages while you maintain a listening silence.

If you're interested in attending one of our MBSR courses do book in. It is a well structured 8 week course that integrates a mindfulness meditation practice, mindfulness in daily life and western psychology with a view to stress reduction. The next course begins in Marrickville, Tuesday, Feb 16 6.30pm-9.00pm. For more info www.headrest.com.au or  try booking to book.